The Motherhood Diaries: The Impact Of A Village
A Motherhood Photography Project by Amber Potter Photography
The Motherhood Diaries is a motherhood photography project by Amber Potter Photography that explores the many ways women experience motherhood. Through portraits and personal storytelling, each diary shares the perspective of one mother while asking larger questions about identity, support, balance, and the communities that shape us.
Because while every motherhood story is unique, the questions beneath them are often the same.
Exploring The Layers Of Modern Motherhood
What goes into a successful village - not just a village - but a successful, impactful one?
As I continue this project, I find myself uncovering more questions than answers. The thread that keeps returning for me is this: why do all mothers not have the same motherhood experience? Motherhood is hard for everyone. It comes with challenges that we must all learn to navigate - that is universal. But beyond that, the road leading to, from, and around motherhood is not the same.
What kind of impact does a woman’s motherhood have on her children and her life? What kind of ripples extend out from her experience that eventually affect the lives of her children, her life, and her community? Because what affects us on a singular level eventually affects us all in some way.
Through exploring the meaning and impact of a village in motherhood, I hope that we can learn something new.
There is wisdom found in old ways, but there is also wisdom found in new ways. This project continues to be a way to blend the two because it isn’t about old ways vs. new ways - it’s about learning a common way. One that embraces both sides to find a better side.
By sharing these Motherhood Diaries, my hope is that we can find comfort in a mirrored experience to our own and hope in the new ideas and possibilities of one that is different than our own. It also transforms this project into an experience, not just a photography session - emphasizing creative storytelling, emotional connection, and thought-provoking purpose.
The Motherhood Diaries: Katie & Luke
Each Motherhood Diary highlights the perspective of one mother and the experiences that have shaped her journey.
I had the privilege of working with Katie recently, who is such a beautiful soul both inside and out. She graciously agreed to participate in my Motherhood Diaries project, and right off the bat, her strength, positivity, and grace shone through. Katie became a mother for the first time later in her life, at a time when her career was already established, her family life was secure, and she had the love and support of a great partner and a wonderful network of family and friends.
A Conversation On Motherhood
Amber: What aspect of motherhood has been the most challenging? What has been the most rewarding?
Katie: I would say the most challenging is changing your schedule. I am an older mom and was used to doing things a certain way and having a certain schedule. Once you become a mom that completely changes. It’s a good change but still a change and it takes time to get used to it. I would have to say that seeing Luke light up when my husband and I walk into a room is pretty incredible. You hear all the time about this type of love but it’s hard to explain until you experience it.
Amber: Have you had the support you needed, and felt able to ask for the type of help you really need?
Katie: Yes, the Lord has really blessed me with an amazing, supportive husband and family. I also have a great group of girlfriends who are incredible as well! I don’t think single parents get the credit they deserve. They are superhuman, and once you become a parent you realize very quickly how incredible single parents are.
Amber: Have your views on what is important and what can be let go of changed? Or are you still in the early stage of motherhood where you feel pressure to get everything right and follow all the "rules"?
Katie: I have experienced this and am still learning. I will more than likely keep learning for years to come. I have amazing mentors around me to help keep me balanced. It takes a village. One thing I really try to do is enjoy the moments. Everything is such a rush now. I look back at photos of Luke and think, "I don't even remember that." It’s so easy to get caught up in the day-to-day grind. I remember so many of my mom friends telling me to just enjoy this time, you don't get it back. I really try hard to be present and soak it all in.
Amber: What does family mean to you now, and how has that changed since beginning your motherhood later in life?
Katie: I would say family before was just our extended family and my husband and me (and of course our 2 Goldendoodles). I never was sure I wanted a child. I am glad the Lord changed my heart on that because now it’s the 3 of us and our extended families and I have unlocked a whole new chapter in life. I am still new to this motherhood thing, so I am looking forward to the years to come!
Amber: Do you struggle with imbalance - with balancing necessary down time and rest, with the needs of your family, and outside commitments like work, activities, friends, etc.?
Katie: Yes, I am guilty of this. Moms always feel a crazy amount of pressure, but we are human. This year I am really focusing on taking care of myself more because I am the only mom he has, and I want to be the absolute best version for him. Being a mom is so rewarding but it’s also challenging especially in the world we are living in today. I really try not to let social media dictate how I need to parent or create memories for Luke.
Reflections:
Every story shared through The Motherhood Diaries reveals something deeper about the experience of motherhood. Katie’s story raised questions for me about access, privilege, and compassion - and what it truly means when we say “it takes a village.”
Lessons in Access, Privilege, and Compassion
They say it takes a village, but what exactly do we mean by that? The dictionary gives the definition of a village as a group of homes located together. Clearly, that is not what we mean by village - what we really mean is community. A community is a group of people with shared values and goals, who work together by recognizing the needs of each individual member, and who live by recognizing how the life of one member is tied to the wellbeing of the entire community.
So what does a successful, impactful “village” look like in modern motherhood? In Katie’s experience, she has found hers through a supportive spouse, family, and friends, and access to mentors who care about and pour into her. Even with all of that in place, she recognizes that the struggle still exists - even for her. The tension between what we wish, what is expected, and what is reality.
We lose pieces of time, pieces of ourselves, and memories of our kids’ childhood, which is normalized as the average daily grind. The lifestyle we create for ourselves has a price, and I’m not sure the price of my mental health and memories of my children’s childhood is worth it.
We tell each other - enjoy this time, you don’t get it back. We tell ourselves, be present and soak it all in. But are we actually enjoying the time? Are we present? Are we soaking it all in?
Or are we swept along in a storyline that we think is right, while that storyline is flawed with pitfalls that eventually we fall into, which then leads us into guilt and anger over not being able to keep up? When we struggle with those pitfalls and have the courage to speak to those issues, many are told, “You chose to be a mother, deal with it” or “No one helped me in my motherhood - why should you get special treatment?”
When did grace and compassion become special treatment? When did our own experiences become the reason to turn away from or invalidate another’s experience?
These pitfalls affect not only us but our children as well.
Research indicates that a mother's mental health significantly impacts her child's emotional and behavioral well-being. Studies have shown that maternal mental health can lead to increased risks of emotional distress and developmental challenges in children. Maternal social support is a significant and positive predictor of children’s overall happiness. The more social support a mother has, the more positive affect and happiness a child felt one year after, highlighting the importance of supporting mothers for the benefit of the entire family.
Moms feel pressure to balance it all - and seemingly the answer is to take care of ourselves better.
I am guilty of not taking care of myself better, but not for lack of trying. There can be many barriers that prevent moms from being able to take care of themselves in a way that allows them to be the best mother for their children.
I’ve had times when I was not the best version of myself for my children. While the current consensus is that each mother is responsible for maintaining her physical health, her mental health, and seeking outside help when she needs it, that viewpoint can feel distant from the reality many mothers live in.
There are times when a mother can be less than the mother she wants to be - and in those moments, she is giving 100% of herself. She can seek a village and not find one. She can look for help and be offered the wrong type of help. Oftentimes, help can come with conditions attached - conditions that change help into an agenda that thinks it is care.
There are many reasons why a mother can struggle, why a mother can fail. At what point do we stop laying all of the responsibility for that on her? At what point do we ask harder questions?
Does she have access to a supportive network? Are there financial barriers in place? Does she have the necessary footholds to allow her to climb higher?
Are we expecting her to maintain the status quo of a previous generation? Are we shrugging off compassion because some mothers manage to do it alone while struggling, so we feel all mothers should be held to the same standard?
Are we recognizing that each person can have different capacities, strengths, weaknesses, support networks, and needs? Are we seeing that a one-size-fits-all motherhood is not the answer?
We like to say we care about the children - but do we really care about them if we don’t also see that our care must include their mother?
That’s what the science shows.
When you support the mother - you support the child.
Rather than telling moms to go find their village, or create their own village, to pull up their bootstraps…
What if we became the village first?
Closing Reflections
Stories like Katie’s remind me that motherhood is never experienced in isolation. Behind every mother is a network of support, expectation, culture, and circumstance that shapes her journey.
The Motherhood Diaries is more than a photography project. It’s a creative movement to see motherhood - and one another - through a deeper, more compassionate lens.
Each session I create is part art, part reflection - a way to connect image and story to the truths that live beneath the surface.
A way to infuse purpose into my work beyond a simple photo session, turning an experience into a lasting legacy.
This work is about transformation - yours and mine - and the beauty of finding purpose in the spaces between.
— Amber
What does your village look like - and what would it look like if we all chose to become the village for one another?
