The Motherhood Diaries: A Motherhood Photography Project
Exploring the Layers of Modern Motherhood
During the time I took a break from my photography business, I began a personal project I called The Motherhood Diaries. I found myself focusing on motherhood in a way that was different from before. My time spent lurking online in mom groups, found that motherhood affects us all in one way or another. Many struggle with the same disappointments and challenges, the same joys and successes, moving back and forth between the two in the dance that is motherhood. I also found that while we all seem to go through similar experiences, we don’t all approach them in the same way. Yet, we tend to expect each other to share a common approach, and when we don’t, when we find different ways that don’t align with our own way, we separate ourselves from each other. We criticize each other. We keep ourselves from experiencing the changing power that is a different lens. Imagine if we all did things the same way and viewed things in the exact same light? How much do we miss out on when we turn away from different perspectives?
This personal project began with hundreds (okay, probably thousands) of unorganized screenshots that made sense only to me, documenting recurring fears, challenges, questions, and emotions, and in these I found a pattern. Many of us don’t feel like we have a village; we feel like we are doing this on our own, even with the world telling us to “find your village” - it’s not as simple as that. The world we parent in today is not the world our mothers parented in. That’s not to say it is harder, or they didn’t have their own challenges to navigate through and found success in - but it is different, and expecting us to parent in the same way isn’t supportive. There is wisdom found in old ways, but there is also wisdom found in new ways. This project was a way to blend the two, because it isn’t about old ways vs. new ways, it’s about learning a common way. One that embraces both sides to find a better side.
By sharing these Motherhood Diaries, my hope is that we can find comfort in a mirrored experience to our own, and hope in the new ideas and possibilities of one that is different than our own. It also transforms this project into an experience, not just a photography session. Emphasizing creative storytelling, emotional connection, and thought-provoking purpose.
The Motherhood Diaries: J’neal & Jensen
J’neal was my very first client when I started photography fifteen years ago. At the time I was working on a food blog, posting photos of my son, and when she approached me about taking pictures of her family - and was willing to pay me for it - I was excited to try something different than the plates of food I was used to. My photography and business has gone through a lot of growth and change since then, and it seems fitting that I start this new project with someone who supported what I do from the beginning.
Amber: J’neal, I have a short questionnaire I’d love for you to take a look at if you have time before our session tomorrow. This will help me in creating something special for you from your session. Real, honest, answers are what I love. The things you really think and feel - if you’re brave enough.
What would you tell the younger mother version of you now?
What have you learned about what is important and what can be let go of?
What does family mean to you now, and how has that changed from the beginning of your motherhood?
What piece of advice would you tell your younger self at your daughter’s age now?
What do you hope for your daughter, that you never hoped for yourself?
J’neal: Oh my! Just reading these questions has me in tears. It’s funny because her and I just talked about some of this today.
J’neal: I would tell the younger mother version of myself to enjoy every second of time with them. As a young parent life is chaotic. You are trying to build a career while raising kids and it is really tough. I would tell my younger self to always make the kids a priority and enjoy every second even in the chaos because time goes by so fast and that time is so short.
J’neal: I have learned that the absolute most important thing is God and family. Everything else doesn’t matter.
J’neal: At the beginning of motherhood I didn’t understand how fast the time would go. I tell the younger women I work with to make sure they are going to all their kids things. To take off to go on field trips. Take vacations and make memories.
J’neal: I think it is important to get kids involved in activities that will keep them busy and allow them to form relationships with other kids. Our kids have always been super active. Sports have provided them with friendships that will last a lifetime. They have been on serval sports teams that required a large financial and time commitment. We decided it was important to us to prioritize that for our family. Yes it was hectic traveling every weekend and then working all week and doing it over again. Spending weekends in hotels and weeknights running kids to practice. The house cleaning suffered, laundry suffered, but the time we spent in the car, at the hotels, at restaurants, and at the ballfields was such valuable family time.
J’neal: The piece of advice that I give Jensen is to make sure she marries someone that will support her in everything she does and someone that puts God and family first. Jeremy has been the absolute best husband and father. She has seen that growing up, so I know she will choose someone that will be a great partner.
J’neal: My hope for Jensen is that she finds her purpose in this world and happiness and contentment in life.
Amber: Thank you for sharing your insight. A couple more questions, if you don’t mind? For your family, prioritizing an active schedule and the relationships, memories, and experiences that go with that lifestyle was important to you. Did you ever struggle with imbalance - with balancing necessary down time and rest, with the benefits of an active schedule? Or were the things you let go of - the household tasks, keeping things “perfect”, etc, the way you found balance? Did letting go of the need for perfection help you?
J’neal: I don’t think that we have ever really had downtime. It seems like we go go go until someone gets sick and we have to take the time, ha! I do think our family thrives in the busy though. Really the only thing about the busy lifestyle that has bothered me is that we eat out way too much!! We are never home, so we are always grabbing something on the road. I hate that my kids don’t get the home cooked meals like I did when I was young.
Reflections
Lessons in Balance, Purpose, and Transformation
The lessons I focused on from J’neal’s story were those of balance and purpose:
Finding Balance Within Ourselves: Balancing the parts of yourself that existed before you were a mother, with the parts of yourself that change after becoming a mother, and honoring that these separate parts of yourself eventually create a new self. One who is rooted in the girl of your youth, and one who grows into a woman who honors the call to listen to your heart, and what it knows is right. This is how you find balance. The outside noise and chaos are just that - an outside element. Not something that lives within your walls and knows the rhythm and cadence of your life. Being present and being seen in your life don’t have to disappear just because you take on the label of mother.
Purpose as the Anchor: Balance is being centered, having a point within that keeps you in the right place. For some, that is faith, for some it is family, for some it may change and evolve over time, but always having something that anchors you is the key to balance. Purpose is what anchors you. If you don’t know what anchors you, you open yourself up to being pushed and pulled by any outside force that comes along. For J’neal, her anchor is her family and her drive, her desire to fill her life with strong foundations, with activities that create both relationships and memories, and with strong characteristics that will keep her children grounded and firm in who they are and who they are capable of becoming.
Her wisdom for her daughter is this: find yourself, balance yourself, and choose a counterpart who will strengthen your ability to stay within the pocket. When you have those elements, finding your purpose is easier, and the path to contentment is brighter.
Her wisdom for herself is this: recognize where you thrive and where your passion lies, put your all into that, and let outside expectations disappear even when it is hard.
Closing Reflections
The Motherhood Diaries is more than a photography project, it’s a creative movement to see motherhood, and one another, through a deeper, more compassionate lens. Each session I create is part art, part reflection - a way to connect image and story to the truths that live beneath the surface. A way to infuse purpose into my work beyond a simple photo session, to turn an experience into a lasting legacy. This work is about transformation, yours and mine, and the beauty of finding purpose in the spaces between.
— Amber Potter Photography
